Moments for Mom
March 2009
The other morning, the first thought that popped into my head as I started to wake up was, “on your knees”. Hmm...that’s odd, I thought. Ummm, Jesus, if this is You, I’ll get on my knees during my quiet time with You in just a bit. (Yes, that’s what I said to Jesus. Nice, huh?) It felt like a good compromise seeing as a) it seemed like an odd request, b) I wasn’t sure it were even Him telling me that, and c) I had a few things on the agenda and needed to get going with my day.
Fast forward about two hours and I was sitting down for my quiet time. I did, in fact, get on my knees, next to the bed, opening my hands up in a symbolic surrendering of myself and my day. Then I sat back down in the chair with my tea and immediately felt, “on your knees.” Okay, I just got on my knees. Didn’t You just see me do that?, I asked, with a bit of attitude, as in what more do You want from me? “On your knees, in your heart,” said the Voice. Oh. Now that’s different. Wait, Jesus, am I holding something back from you that I don’t know about? My feelings were almost hurt, like when you proudly show your parents a hard-earned B and they ask why you didn’t get an A. Okay, I literally have to go now, but we’ll talk about this again. Soon.
He’s been doing that to me more lately. The whole talking-to-me thing. There are a few reasons why that I can humanly point to in an attempt to explain it. For instance, there’s a certain author that anytime I read something he’s written, this happens. And I’ve upped one of my spiritual disciplines that I had let go of for awhile. And I just decided to take the plunge and lead a missions trip to Liberia. Things like that. But then there’s the part that can’t be explained. The holy part. The part that I have nothing to do with.
I had been out of town when I first heard the request…the command…the beckoning... of “on your knees, in your heart”. And it followed me back home. I was putting laundry away and I had on my to-do list something I’m kind of embarrassed about…to finish up watching season one of a show I have recently become ever-so-slightly obsessed with. And as I was thinking to myself, ooo, I’ll do that next, I heard “on your knees, in your heart”, and I thought to myself, surely You’re not asking me to give that up…I’m almost done, and it’s a harmless show. So I pushed on past that Voice and watched it. And enjoyed it very much, thank you. Except for the guilt that was lingering over me. See, I don’t always listen.
But why wouldn’t I want to? Why wouldn’t I want to listen to the Voice? Why wouldn’t I want to do what it says?
One morning before a speaking engagement, during my quiet time, I asked what I should read…I told God I could use a little comfort, but what I really wanted was the passage He led me to years and years ago right before a speaking engagement when I was pretty scared, something about an assembly, but I didn’t want to ask for that because I didn’t actually believe He’d lead me to it and I didn’t want to be disappointed when He didn’t come through. Again, nice, right? So, I stuck with asking for comfort and He led me to Psalm 23 --- “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me”. And then my eyes drifted to Psalm 22, on the same page --- “I will declare Your name to My brethren; In the midst of the assembly I will praise You”. Whoa. That was the verse from years ago that I had hoped to run across. Really…whoa.
So the other day, when I was thinking about a person I know who needed some extra cash for a project, I asked Jesus if He wanted me to help out and if so, how much. The amount that came to my mind was weird. Until I realized it was the amount matched a check I recently got. I thought, really, Lord? Seriously? And even though I doubted this ever so slightly, I figured I’d rather err on the generous side. Especially because as I signed the back of the check, I heard, “on your knees, in your heart”.
Ladies, are you listening? Take some time today…not this week, not at your next women’s retreat next month, but today. And listen for the Voice of the One who loves you and wants to pour out His love and compassion over you. Today. Just listen.
Ó Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2009
Elisabeth lives with husband, Kevin, and children, Sara, 12, and Jack, 10-&-1/2, in Elburn, Illinois. She is the author of the devotionals, In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother’s Heart (Xulon, 2005), and Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom’s Weary Soul (Kregel, 2001); the monthly column, “Moments for Mom”; and for two years was the contributing editor of the “Mothering Matters” section of MOPS magazine, MomSense. After ten years of leading Women’s Ministry and four years on staff at Christ Community Church – Blackberry Creek Campus over Adult Ministry and Community & International Impact, she is now devoting her time to speaking and writing, working on her next two books. Her passion is to encourage women and the Church, and applying her gifts to eradicating global poverty, as well as local and global AIDS, one small step at a time, which she hopes to fulfill through her writing and speaking, and her connections with Open Door Clinic in the Fox Valley area and her church’s partnership in Bo, Sierra Leone. You can learn more about Elisabeth at www.elisabethcorcoran.com, on Facebook or on her blog at http://elisabethcorcoran.blogspot.com/.