But that day in church, I told Laura, “Um, could you act like I’m helping you? I just want to hold a baby.”

OK, so I like holding babies. And I want to be someone’s dad. But is my desire to be a parent as strong as the desire women feel? I don’t know. I won’t argue it is. But I do think it’s a God-given desire, an extension of my personality type, and a male need to provide for, protect, and shape another person. I also know what I feel isn’t just a feeling of “Boy, that’d be nice!” – it’s a long-time longing. And as I get older, I worry more and more it won’t happen. Sure, I don’t have the biological timetable women do, but I also fear becoming a first-time dad late in life. My friend’s dad was nearly sixty when Gene, an only child, was born. Gene’s dad lived late into life, but that still meant Gene was only in his mid-twenties when he had to bury his dad.

Even with all these thoughts, I still find it hard to imagine the hormones and biological urges women have. I recently heard two women in their late thirties talking about contingency plans if they don’t get married soon. They both said they’ll probably opt for artificial insemination. Other single women decide to adopt. But I’ve never even considered adoption on my own if I don’t marry. So, that’s my biggest sign that a woman’s drive to be a mom is far greater than I can imagine. It seems like single guys instead get their pseudo-parental sense of protection, nurturing, and adventure by being an uncle, a tee-ball coach, or a youth-group counselor.

So yes, this is different than what women experience. But, I think we men can also play up or overestimate a woman’s longing for kids. I’ve heard too many guys complain that Christian women quickly “latch” on after one date because they can hear that steady tick-tock-tick. I don’t think that’s generally true. In fact, I think it’s funny. Guys typically don’t get enough consideration for wanting to be parents, and women may get too much. That’s why we need to just let members of the opposite sex – like sports fan/family man Paul – surprise us from time to time.

Got Sperm?

Camerin:  It seems ironic, or perhaps a sign of just how much things have changed in our postmodern age, that while men are now being affected by the biological clock (or are finally starting to talk about it), women are seemingly less and less affected. Most of the single women I know fall into two camps: those who want to be a mom yesterday and those who have a vague notion of wanting to be a mom … someday. And of the women I’ve spoken with about this, the majority seems to fall in the latter group.

Why? Well, that’s a great question. I have a feeling the answer, as with many things associated with the modern dating scene, is multilayered and complex. I have a few theories, though, as one who also falls into this Waning Maternal Urge set. There are times I suspect this lack of urgent maternal desire is a gift from God, as there’s not a lot I can do about such an urge in my current life stage (except adopting, of course, which is a huge undertaking as a single person). I also feel so busy trying to do everything in a household, from paying bills and fixing leaky faucets to cooking dinner and decorating the walls, by myself that even thinking about caring for another human being, especially a “dependent,” makes me break into a cold sweat (though I know single parents miraculously perform this feat every day).