Two days later a friend called and suggested I contact another new widow. "Teri's going through the same grieving process," she said. I called Teri and found someone who understood--another reminder I was not alone.

"Shall we call Bob and the three of us get together next week?" Teri suggested. "You know his wife, Betty, died just four days before my husband, Jack."

Bob and Betty and Richard and I had been in the same Bible Study group for the previous three years. I felt comfortable meeting with Bob and Teri, and we began weekly meetings, forming a life-saving and life-changing grief support group.

"I'm so tired of people asking, ‘How are you doing?' when I can't tell them what I'm feeling," Teri commented.

"Sometimes honesty is not the best policy," Bob answered.

The tears flowed, honest feelings erupted, dependency on each other increased, and our special bond strengthened. Before Bob left for his summer vacation with family and friends, he announced, "You girls saved my life this past year."

"I believe God brought us together and we saved each other," Teri responded.

"It looks like He's in control," I commented.

When Bob returned in the fall, he, Teri and I met for an update on what was happening in our lives.

"I'm responding to God's nudge," Teri said. "I start my classes in divinity school next week. The strange thing is, this is not something I would've done if Jack were still living. I still miss him, but I'm excited about becoming a pastor. It gives me a glimmer of hope for my future."

"You know, I bought a new RV before I left here last spring," Bob remarked. "I've decided the two main hobbies I'd like to pursue--besides visiting my family--are traveling and golf, but I just don't enjoy doing either by myself."

"I can relate," I answered. "I feel like I'm living in a ‘couples' world' and I don't fit in. I've tried playing golf with our old group of friends and joining them in their social outings, but these experiences usually just remind me of how much I miss Richard and how much my life has changed. Thank God for my children and grandchildren. They're my connection to the past and my hope for the future."

One unusually warm winter day, Bob called. "How about joining me for nine holes of golf?" he asked. "I'm tired of playing by myself."

For the first time, we shared laughter as well as tears.

During the next months, because of Teri's class schedule, Bob and I often met without her. Sometimes we'd walk around the nearby lake, talking about the continuing changes in our lives and how we were coping with a lifestyle that neither of us had ever wanted.

As Thanksgiving approached and everyone focused on being thankful, a close friend asked me, "Remember what I told you months ago? You had a rare marriage, one many people never experience for even one year, yet you had forty-six years. Since it's Thanksgiving, can you be thankful now?"