Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of H. Norman Wright and Sheryl Wright Macauley's book, Making Peace with Your Mom, (Bethany House Publishers, 2006).

Your relationship with your mom has more power than any other to impact your emotional health. Whether your relationship with your mom is currently close or distant, it can always use improvement. Any unresolved issues between you will hurt you unless you make peace with her.

Here’s how you can make peace with your mom:

Evaluate your relationship. Consider your past and present relationship with your mom by asking yourself some key questions: “How would you describe your relationship with your mom?”, “In what way was your mom there for you?”, “In what way wasn’t your mom there for you?”, “Describe how your mom has influenced or shaped your life (either negatively or positively).”, “If your relationship was lacking, what have you done to overcome this?”, “What do you appreciate the most and the least in your mother’s involvement with you?”, “If your mother’s interaction was missing in your life, how did you fill this void?”, “What are three rules your mother taught you about life?” and “At this point in your life, what would you like to be able to say to your mother?”.

Reflect on your memories. Think about your memories of your mom and how they affect your life today. Notice your feelings when you ponder memories such as: your first memory of her, your last memory of her, your best memory of her, your worst memory of her. Also remember times when something especially memorable happened in your relationship, such as: when you were most proud of her or when she was most proud of you, you were most upset with her, you laughed the hardest at something she did or said, you discovered a secret about her, you said something to her you wish you could take back, and you first shared a spiritual experience together. Consider what these and other memories tell you about your mom. Keep in mind that God loves both you and your mom in spite of the flaws you each have. Find photos of yourself at various ages growing up, and think about the quality of relationship you had with your mom at each age as you look at the photos. After doing this, write a summary statement of your childhood. Think about who you were, who you could have been, and what you can do now to move forward with your life.

Respond wisely to your mom’s voice. Listen to your mom’s voice that you hear in your mind, reminding you of the messages she’s given you in the past. Pay attention to what she says in your current conversations. Realize that, although you can’t control what she communicates to you, you can choose how to respond to her messages. Pray about unhealthy messages from your mom, asking God to renew your mind and help you discard lies (such as an assertion that you’ll never amount to anything) and replace them with truth (such as the reality that you’re valuable to God and that your life has a great purpose). Don’t let your mom’s voice resonating in your head control your life. Understand that issues that frustrate you about the way your mom interacts with you can be resolved if you set proper boundaries with her. For example, you can ask her to call before visiting rather than just showing up unannounced, and if she still comes by without calling, you can politely yet firmly let her know it’s not a good time to visit.