It wasn’t until many years later that I realized the counselor at the abortion clinic gave me false information. Through the love and compassion of Jesus Christ I realized that “clump of cells” was a baby from the moment of conception. A special child of God, unique, unrepeatable and given to me. I felt consuming anger at this counselor’s deception. I felt betrayed, used and manipulated.

With this new information, I began to question. As I investigated the ideologies I had embraced for so long, I began to see things with new eyes. I discovered doctors who believed in the sanctity of life were not “medieval” and the Church, contrary to radical feminist belief, is not out to oppress women.

As I began to write and speak to others on the topic of abortion, I met other post-abortive women; women who had similar stories to mine. We all shared the guilt and shame of aborting our babies. We waged a ferocious interior battle to forgive ourselves. The pain and suffering we went through because of our “choice” was at times unbearable.

The pain of abortion is a pain many women continue to suffer in isolation or silence. I recently compiled a book of women who have chosen abortion, and in their stories I see the same sorrow, pain, agony and guilt I felt that so often gets unreported amid the jumble of political rhetoric focused on rights. In one story, Marie shares: The despair deepened and turned quickly to depression. I remember sitting in the bathroom during a break at my summer job, seriously considering suicide. I could just take one of these box-cutters from the back room-end it all. Right here. Right now.  

Research shows that among the symptoms a woman may experience following abortion include (but are not limited to):

• Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
• Suicidal Ideation and Suicidal Attempts
• Eating Disorders
• Divorce and Chronic Relationship Problems
• Short and Long-term Risks to Physical and Reproductive Health
  (information from www.afterabortion.org)

Yet, as my story and the stories of many others show, healing can take place. Jackie’s story demonstrates healing that is nothing short of miraculous. In her own words: Suddenly, everything stopped. I felt different-light and free. Joy sprung up in my soul. I knew God had delivered me and purged me from all the guilt and shame of my abortion, and He was going to bless me with a baby.

Today’s world is all about comfort, it’s all about “me.” Our society has convinced us of the “inconveniences” of life and that we need not endure them. Yet, I and so many others have learned that “inconvenience” builds character and makes us stronger. In fact, these “inconveniences” can even be better for us than the alternative.

Unfortunately, many women have already made choices they can’t take back. They may be struggling without help and healing. These women may even feel afraid that the Church would reject them or God wants nothing to do with them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Through God’s grace, help and healing is possible. Christ’s death on the cross was not for perfect people, but for those like you and me – those who know brokenness and regret. 

“I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” (Jer 29:11)

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Jane Brennan, MS, whose full story is included in the book Motherhood Interrupted, has a private counseling practice in Colorado. She is also a state leader for the SilentNoMoreAwareness Campaign. Her book Motherhood Interrupted: Stories of Healing and Hope after Abortion can be ordered from her web-site http://www.motherhoodinterrupted.com/