Cope well with grumpiness. Aging can cause your parents to go through a range of negative emotions that can make them difficult to get along with well. Understand their grief over the independence they’ve lost. Encourage them that simply experiencing signs of aging doesn’t have to lead down a slippery slope of hopelessness or despair. Help them think positively even in the face of adversity. Help them feel loved by giving them focused attention regularly. Help them feel trustworthy by giving them as many opportunities as possible to make their own decisions about their care. Help them feel valuable by dwelling on their best qualities. Instead of trying to change their behavior (which you can’t), focus on what you can do – changing your own behavior toward them. Ask God to help you see the humor in difficult situations to relieve stress, and to respond in love rather than anger whenever your parents frustrate you. Ask trusted friends to pray for you and your parents.

Prepare well for doctor’s office visits. You’ll probably spend lots of time in doctor’s office waiting rooms. Prepare well by choosing the best doctors for your parents (in terms of both their medical expertise, and your parents’ confidence in them), streamlining your schedule to make time for medical appointments, trying to get the first appointment of the day so your parents will be more likely to be seen on time, bring work with you to do while waiting, bringing your parents’ complete medical histories with you, asking doctors questions about any issues that concern you or your parents, taking notes on what the doctors say, and asking for more information when you want to further research something. Find out about the various medications that doctors prescribe for your parents and make sure that there aren’t any potentially dangerous interactions between them.

Become a patient advocate for your parents. Speak up for your parents’ best interests when dealing with the medical professionals who are treating them. Ask your parents for their permission to receive their personal medical information so you can fight side by side with them for the highest quality of care. Ask doctors, nurses, lab technicians, and others questions to be fully informed about the decisions being made for your parents’ care. Talk with your parents about their treatment options and offer your opinions when asked. Before entering the hospital, ask your parents who should make decisions for them if they become unable to make decisions for themselves. Then make sure that the designated person – yourself or someone else – will be available and clearly understands your parents’ wishes. If you need professional help to oversee your parents’ medical care, consider hiring a geriatric care manager.

Help your parents cope with losing friends and family members. The older your parents get, the more people they’ve loved will likely pass away. Pray for God’s help for your parents in their grief. Listen to your parents express their thoughts and feelings. Give them opportunities to reconnect with old friends, as well as opportunities to meet new friends. Find a grief support group for your parents to join if they’re interested. Offer your parents ways they can continue to feel productive, such as by contributing to your family or serving others in the community.