Enhance safety for parents who choose to live alone. Go through your parents’ home looking for dangers (like leaky faucets, throw rugs, and extension cords) that need to be corrected, and consider what safety products you should buy (such as grab bars in the bathrooms). Get your parents portable telephones and invest in a personal emergency response system for them. Make sure your parents are taking their medications properly every day – the right dosages at the right times. Schedule in-home visits from professionals who can provide companionship and nursing care.  Look for ways to help alleviate the loneliness your parents may feel: call them daily, have your kids visit them with you, bring them meals, encourage friends to visit.

Deal well with your parents coming to live with you. If your parents come to live with you, talk openly and honestly about the issues about which you need to reach agreement, like: Who will be responsible for what expenses? How will your home need to be retrofitted to make your parents comfortable? Who will do which household chores? Let your parents choose which items to move from their previous home to yours, and which to let go. Think about how you can take advantage of your proximity to each other to build closer relationships, such as having your parents play with your kids and teach them more about faith. Integrate your parents as fully as possible into your family’s life.

Choose an assisted living or nursing facility wisely. Thoroughly research facilities your parents are considering. When you tour potential facilities, evaluate them carefully, paying attention to factors like: quality of medical attention, cleanliness and attractiveness of the environment, ratio of patients to medical staff, personal contact with staff, and opportunities residents have for practicing their faith. Also consider the results of government inspections and whether or not your family can afford to pay the cost of care at each facility. Explain to the people in charge at the facilities what type of care your parents need, and ask them to describe the specific ways their facility will meet those needs. Once you’ve found the best facility your family can afford and your parents have moved in, find ways to continue participating in their lives and allow them to participate in yours.

Find hope if you’re sandwiched between aging parents and young children. If you’re wedged between dual caregiving responsibilities – both to your parents and your young children – remember that this is just a temporary season. Pray for the strength and wisdom you need to make the right decisions about how to use your limited time and energy. Consider what responsibilities you can outsource to others: hiring a cleaning service, asking other family members to prepare meals, and even involving your young children as you care for your parents by having them keep them company or do some tasks for them. Explain your parents’ limitations to your kids and answer their questions honestly. Help your kids have fun with their grandparents in creative ways. Help your parents participate in family life as much as possible, even if they must do so from their beds. Use humor to diffuse your stress.