Dena Johnson Martin Christian Blog and Commentary

A Prayer for Filling

Lord Jesus, I’m desperate.

Desperate for strength. Desperate for renewal. Desperate for fresh breath. Desperate for change.

I am worn and weary. My strength fails me. My heart, my body…they fail me.

I need YOU.

I need a fresh dose of your power, of your Spirit. I need a fresh filling of your strength, of your energy. I need to be renewed so I can mount up with wings like eagles, so I can run and not faint.

My heart is heavy and burdened. This life is hard, so very hard. The burdens this journey throws at me—loss, grief, death, illness—it’s more than I can handle. I try every day to cast my cares on you because I know you care for me, but it’s hard. The grief is with me every day, even as I seek to rest in you. The pain of watching those I love suffer from the demons haunting them is often more than I can bear. The struggle to overcome bitterness and grief can be all-consuming.

I know your yoke is easy and your burden is light. I know you promise your perfect peace as I seek to put all my trust in you. I know you promise to make all things beautiful in your time. But as I wait, it’s hard. It’s hard to trust and believe. It’s hard to constantly turn my thoughts to you and think on things that are lovely and noble and true and right. It’s hard not to let this world get the best of me.

But I ask. I ask you to help me, to help me focus my thoughts and my hearts. I ask you to help me rest in you. I ask us to help me trust you to keep all of your promises because you are good. I ask you to take my circumstances and make them good and beautiful in spite of where I am today.

I ask you to help my unbelief.

I find myself crying out to you day and night. You calm my soul even as I turn my heart to you. May I long for you as the deer longs for streams of water. May I thirst for you even as the tears flood my face (Psalm 42:1-3).

I know you are my refuge and strength and that you always stand ready to help in times just like this. I will choose not to fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble. Let the oceans roar and foam and the mountains tremble as the waters surge! (Psalm 46:1-3) And as the world chaotically moves around me, I will rest in you. I will choose to be still and know that you are God (Psalm 46:10).

Father, I am empty. But you are my rescuer, my cup-filler. You are the joy of my heart, my only hope. I come to you asking for more—more of your power, more of your strength, more of your renewal.

More of You.

You are the only one who can take my life and make it what you want it to be—what I want it to be. I surrender my heart, my soul, my will—my all.

I am yours.

Take me. Take my heartaches and pains. Take my grief and my exhaustion. Take it and renew me.

And I will forever stand and worship you.