Crosswalk.com aims to offer the most compelling biblically-based content to Christians on their walk with Jesus. Crosswalk.com is your online destination for all areas of Christian Living – faith, family, fun, and community. Each category is further divided into areas important to you and your Christian faith including Bible study, daily devotions, marriage, parenting, movie reviews, music, news, and more.

Dena Johnson Martin Christian Blog and Commentary

Act now to share the love of Christ in the Middle East

Crosswalk.com blogspot for Dena Johnson of Dena's Devos

Do a Mighty Work Lord

  • 2024Jan 08

Do a mighty work in me, Lord, so you can do a mighty work through me.

I will never forget falling to my knees and praying that very prayer. I'll be honest. My pride prevented me from seeing how much work God needed to do in me before He could work through me. I was at the lowest point of my life, walking through an unwanted divorce, struggling with the pain of adultery. I knew I didn't want my pain to be in vain, but I really couldn't imagine how much He needed to transform me so I could be used by Him.

Over the course of the next few years, I participated as my Father pruned so many things from my life, as I learned what it was to be truly dependent on Him. He broke my pride. He provided for my every need in the sweetest ways. He made my heart tender and responsive to Him.

These words pierced the depths of my soul:

Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Deuteronomy 8:2-3

Just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, completely dependent on God to meet their every need. Just as God provided manna on a daily basis, ensuring that His people didn't go hungry (Exodus 16). Just as God sent a quail-storm to meet the Israelites' appetite for meat (Exodus 16). Just as God showed them how fickle their hearts were, how easily they were led astray.

Just as the Israelites, so was I. I was trapped in the wilderness of divorce, surrounded by pain on every side. And yet, God in His tender mercies, provided for my daily needs. God performed absolute miracles to provide, from a place to live to money to pay for my daughter's braces. But even more important, God showed me the true condition of my heart. He showed me how I was blinded by my own pride, how easy it was for me to be led astray despite His faithfulness.

He truly did a mighty work in me.

Here I am some 14 years later. The memories of God's faithfulness is still so strong. As I look back on that period in my life, I can't stop the smile the creeps across my face as I remember how good He was to me, how precious His sweet voice and His tender mercies.

Sadly, just like the Israelites, I've been through periods in my life where I've found myself doubting God, in spite of His history of faithfulness. I used to scoff at them, how God would provide some mighty miracle, only to turn the page and find the Israelites grumbling on the next page. Now I realize I am just like them.

And so I stand on the edge of a new year, and I find myself praying that familiar prayer:

Lord, do a mighty work in me so you can do a mighty work through me. 

Maybe there is some growth in the last 14 years as I no longer doubt that there's room for God to change me, to do a mighty work in me. I know He wants every part of my heart and life. I know it's too easy to get swept up in the busyness of life and neglect my relationship with Him. I know there's idolatry in my heart as I look to money as my security rather than Him. I see that I need Him.

Maybe one difference today is that I truly believe He wants to change me, He wants to do a mighty work in me and through me. I have an overwhelming sense that my ordinary step of obedience might be the very thing God uses to usher in an extraordinary act of God. Maybe I've reached the place where I get to start reaping what I have sown.

No matter what, I sense God moving in a mighty way. I sense His presence guiding me back to my foundation. I sense God is going to pour out His power and His presence in ways I never imagined possible.

I am waiting to see the mighty works God is about to do!

 

2024: It's All About Me

  • 2024Jan 03

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know itPsalm 139:14

You may be thinking my title is awfully self-centered. To think an entire year is all about me sounds so contrary to the message of the Bible. However, that's my focus for 2024.

Before you shut me out and quit reading, give me a few minutes to explain.

I told you last week that I had given my notice at my job, choosing to step away from a large, comfortable salary to take a step of faith. I would be lying if I told you I had no fear because quite honestly, I'm terrified! I've come to realize that money is security for me. Maybe it's because of the years of struggle as a single mom. Maybe it's because I'm self-sufficient and independent. Maybe it's just the way God wired me. No matter what, I know God must be my security and not a paycheck.

As I've prayed through my future over the last few months, I've come to understand who I am a little more. I've looked back over the last decade of my life and begun to see the pattern of downward spiral--mentally, physically, emotionally. It began with a five-day work week, especially a five-day in-office work day. I was happy and felt like I had time for myself and my family when I worked a three-day work week, but when I transitioned to a traditional work week is when I began to lose myself.

Guess what? God did not create me for a five-day work week.

Some people may thrive in that environment; I simply die inside.

And that's totally ok because that's the way God created me.

If God created me to not function in a five-day work week, then why am I trying to fit myself into the American mold? Because that's what culture tells us we are supposed to do. And, I'll be honest. Over the years as a single mom, I chose my jobs so I could still be a mom--present in the evenings and weekends and holidays. My five-day work week served a purpose, but I'm now in a new season of life. I don't need to arrange my life around my kids' activities any longer. I can arrange my life around who God created me to be.

And that's what I am doing. I have opted to go back to the hospital to a part-time position--no set hours or 40 hour work-weeks. Sure, I am giving up a lot of benefits and security. But I am trusting God to be my security.

But, even more than the part-time status, I am looking forward to building a coaching business. I have spent over a decade blogging and praying, but the fact is that when I get to the end of a work day, the last thing I have energy for is building a business. I have prayed. I have begged God. But I have been unable to pour the energy into doing the hard work. My prayer is that with a part-time position, I will have enough energy and creativity to work toward the goal of coaching.

In addition, God has spoken Matthew 6:33 to me repeatedly. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.The truth is that my job has gotten my best for many years; God (and everyone else) gets the left-overs. I'm super excited to see what happens when I have the freedom and focus to seek Him above all else.

Now, back to 2024 being the year of Me. As I said, I had to do a lot of soul-searching in the last few months to realize that the 5-day, in-office work day was where my negative spiral began. I realize God created us all differently. My current boss is a godly woman who thrives on staying busy. She loves the commute because it's where she connects with God. But that's not who God created me to be. Driving sucks the life out of me, and I connect with God when I am out walking and moving. Two different people with one creative God.

And that's where I am. You see, I want to spend 2024 diving deeply into who God created me to be, understanding my strengths and weaknesses and why I respond the way I do. I want to understand why I tend to support some people while I dominate others. I want to understand what tendencies I have--good and bad--and what triggers those tendencies. I want to take a really hard look at those areas that would make me more like Him and work to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

I have been introduced to some amazing tools that will help me understand myself better and then lead others to understand themselves better. They have actually been developed by my friend, Jeremie Kubicek, co-founder of GiANT Worldwide. I have come to really see the value in the tools he has created and how it gives you a framework for understanding yourself--and others! It gives you the ability to understand why certain decisions create such chaos and how you can regain peace.

Best of all, Jeremie is an amazing Christian man. Even though his tools are not outright Christian, they are all based on Biblical principles. He has helped many people transform their lives, and I am excited to step in and learn the tools and take them to others.

So 2024 is all about me. Me learning who God created me to be. Me learning what it's like to be on the other side of me. Me learning what it is to again completely trust God. Me taking a journey into myself so I can help others take the same journey.

Here's to 2024!

 

 

To New Beginnings

  • 2023Dec 27

“Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

A new year is upon us. Let's be honest: I don't know where 2023 went. It passed so very quickly. Maybe it's because we were busy. Maybe it's because we are getting older. I don't really know, but it came and went before I knew what hit me.

We are on the cusp of something new. A new year means new beginnings. It means a fresh page, fresh hope. It means the opportunity to start over, to change what needs to be changed. Much like the prophet Isaiah said in chapter 43, God is about to do something new. Let's put the past behind us and focus on what God has in this new chapter.

I feel these words at the very core of my being. I'm on the verge of a new chapter of life, something totally different.

I've told you over the last few months how God was leading me to take a step of faith, but today I want to share the full story with you.

When I was just a young child, God called me to ministry. I have never doubted that is my purpose in life. Never once. When my marriage fell apart and I lost my position as pastor's wife, it was a devastating loss. I struggled greatly with whether God could or would use me--a divorced woman--in ministry ever again. Ultimately, He reminded me that His will and His call are irrevocable (Romans 11:29).

I earned my nursing license shortly after my divorce was finalized, and I found an outlet for my desire to minister to people. I remember one precious man who was so upset he would spend Easter Sunday in the hospital. I made him my final morning assessment. After giving his meds and ensuring all my patients were safe, I knelt by his bed as we read the Resurrection story together. It was a beautiful moment of connection when we could share that common treasure of our Savior.

After a few years at the bedside, I transitioned into a five-day workweek with less patient interaction, but it was also about the time I started this blog. I found so much healing in writing and sharing my story, and my blog became an outlet for my need to be in ministry.

As the years have passed, I have often found myself longing to work full-time in serving people in a ministry. I have often struggled to get out of bed, to go about my job because it is exactly that: a JOB. It's not a passion; it is a paycheck. It's something I have to do to provide for my family.

This summer, God really began to stir within me. First, I had a college friend do a presentation on the Peace Index, a book he wrote. It's a simple concept, but it made it so clear as to why I am so discontent with my work. To put it simply, I am not functioning in my God-given purpose. I am good at what I do. I have opportunity to love on my team (which gives meaning to my work). But it simply is not what God created me to do.

Shortly after this presentation, I attended a prayer and prophecy night. I honestly had no idea what to expect. As a good little Southern Baptist, I tend to be somewhat skeptical of some of the more charismatic beliefs such as speaking in tongues and words of prophecy (although I am far more open than ever before). On this particular night, a lady I had never met spoke a word of prophecy over me. She began by telling me things about me she never could have known. Shen then continued by asking me about my job. I told her I hoped to work three more years (my plan) and be in a position to leave for something more meaningful by the time my daughter graduates from college. Her words were simple: "Holy Spirit says if you want to stay three more years, He will honor that. However, He says it is ok to quit now."

I walked out a little perplexed. I began to share the story with my husband. He kind of smiled and said, "Do you remember I told you I was praying something but I wouldn't tell you what it is? I've been praying you would quit your job. I can see the toll it is taking on you."

At this point I found myself perplexed. We have a mortgage and a child still in college. We have responsibilities. Yes, I dream of having a coaching business, of helping people transform their lives. But, I can't just quit my job. Besides, I absolutely love my team! I love being a safe space for them.

I allowed these events to marinate in my heart and mind for several months. One morning while I was out praying and walking, I sensed so clearly God telling me that He was about to test me and that if I would be faithful, it would be a gateway to greater blessings than I ever imagined. I knew it would be a financial test, but I had no idea what was about to hit.

Two weeks later, it was announced that as a manager, I would be expected to return to the office five days each week. I know. It's post-Covid, and many organizations are returning to the office. For me, however, my ability to work from home was the single most important benefit of my job. It allowed me to have some semblance of work/life balance, and it provided a tremendous amount of peace in my life. Not only that, but the office is nearly an hour each way, much farther than I am personally willing to drive. After all, that's ten hours/week, 520 hours in a year, or thirteen 40-hour work weeks. That's a lot of extra commitment to a job!

Over the last few months as I've listened to God and struggled to understand His call on my life, I have become firmly convinced that it is indeed time for me to leave my job. It has been a hard decision, but I've done a lot of soul-searching. God has made it clear that He is my Provider, and that my job is to get my security from Him, not my paycheck. It's not an easy thing to do, but I have chosen obedience. I am stepping away and into a new future.

A new future that only God can create!