To My Son on Your Wedding Day

Oh, my sweet Blake! How can it be that you are now a newlywed? It seems like it was only yesterday that you were that precious little 6 lb 12 oz preemie that surprised us a month early. Now, here you stand before me, towering over us all, a man instead of a precious baby.

I really don't even know where to start. It was almost a month ago that you stood before God and man pledging your life and love to your sweet Kaylee. I'm not sure I've ever seen you happier or more content than you were that night. I know you tried to hide the emotions, but they crept across your face and told the whole story.

The love you have for this beautiful woman you now call your wife.

The joy of having found the one your heart loves.

The excitement for the life you will create together.

The hope of a beautiful future.

The way you were touched by the words of your brother and sister.

The beauty of such deep and lasting friendships.

The pride of being surrounded by family who loves you deeply.

Your face told the whole story, even if you didn't know you were giving away what was in your heart.

I sat and watched with amazement as I realized my sweet baby is now a man, embarking on the rest of his life with the woman he loves. The pride welled up inside of me as I watched 23 years of raising you flash before my eyes. The years were often long, but the time has been so short.

Have I done enough to love you? Have I done enough to prepare you for this life? Have I taught you how to live well? Have I modeled how to overcome adversity? Have I shown you how to walk with God? Have I encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone?

So many questions swirl through my mind, but maybe they are all summed up in this one:

Was I enough?

For most of your life, I was both mom and dad, raising you as a single parent. I often feel that I spent way too much time working, trying to provide for you, and not nearly enough just enjoying you. It's my single greatest regret as a single mom. It's not that I didn't want to sit and enjoy you; it's that life required so much I often felt depleted after all my responsibilities were met. It's that there wasn't enough time in the day to accomplish all I wanted to accomplish.

I often shared with other single parents that we have to trust that God loves our kids even more than we do, that He is enough to fill in the holes where we are not enough.

It's so much easier said than lived.

I do know my Heavenly Father is enough. It's something I've lived as I've walked through the most excruciatingly painful season of my own life. I know that when life strips everything away, He is more than enough. 

But when it comes to you, my child, it's so much harder to trust Him.

I don't know why human nature is this way, how we see the hand of God move in extraordinary ways and then we find ourselves doubting Him--His goodness and His ability. But it seems it is truly part of our human nature.

I've done it.

My friends have done it.

I used to read scripture and just wanted to yell at the Israelites. One day they are walking through the Red Sea on dry ground. Turn the page and they are grumbling and complaining about how they don't have anything to drink. Really? Don't you think that the God who can make a way through the Sea can also provide a drink of water? Seems like a no-brainer to me.

And then I see it in my own life, as I look at you, my precious first-born, all grown up, and I wonder. Has God been enough? Will He be enough?

My precious son, can I assure you that no matter what you and Kaylee experience, God truly is enough? If you will knit your lives together in such a way that God is the common thread, there's nothing you can't endure together! God is the One who makes a way through the Read Sea, who provides water and food in the wilderness, who fights against our enemies, who loves in us and through us, who forgives our sins. He is our Great I Am, whatever we need, whenever we need it.

And He wants to be everything for you and Kaylee together.

If you've heard me say it once, you've heard me say it a million times: God loves you. He loves you so much He sent His son to die for you. He wants to spend time with you, getting to know you. He wants to heal your hurts and be the constant in your life. He wants to be the center of your marriage, the foundation of your life.

He wants to be your everything. Will you let him?

I love you both, Blake and Kaylee! You make me proud to be your mom! And I can't wait to see what God does in you and through you!