When You Think, "There is No Way"
We all have our monsters. The real vile ones are from days of old; they give us night-shivers to remember. The fast ones whip us, encouraging us to more quickly chase perfection. The obnoxious ones form in our mind, informing us we are no better than our worse fears. The slow-moving one arrives like an envelope with amounts past due, they point to the depths we can never climb. But, the worst - the absolute worst - are the types that tell us our big God is small. They that tell us we fooled ourselves; God doesn't really come through for our likes. These ones are beasts. Tall. Ferocious. Salivating. Beasts. Throwing insults.
(Goliath) said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?"
And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. 1 Sam. 17:43
Our Goliath-monsters speak too, you know?
Am I not threatening enough - that you think you can beat me?
Am I to laugh, that you think you can beat me with prayer?
Am I an imbecile, that you speak thousand-year old bible verses and think they'll work?
Am I not injurous enough, that you believe in something you cannot see, when you see the heights of me?
Am I not pleasurable enough, that you would come at me with the thought God makes you enough?
Look at her...
The finger points.
The chants ensue.
We stand there. Nearly naked.
We feel the assault on a God who seems silent.
We wait, looking left and right hoping to do something. Needing - to do something.
What giant monster taunts you?
What does he say?
When I was a waitress, we used to say, "I'm in the weeds." It means someone is about to dump a plate of spaghetti on your head because you've gotten too far behind. It also means that the appetizer you're holding should actually be dessert and you are pretty much hated by multiple tables. You crawl under a table cloth at the at point. You are stuck. You hate yourself.
I have a book coming out a couple of months. I'm in the weeds. The monster is there. He speaks,
"Kelly, you have no time, you have no ability, you have no power to succeed.
What others have in talent, you don't. You're an imposter."
Yet, when I fight to hear God's voice. Something surfaces.
When you hear insults over invading love,
you can be sure that you're hearing the insidious voice of a monster,
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands...All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” (1 Sam. 17:45-47)
I love how David talked back. We, good girls, don't do this enough. We've been taught to cross our legs, dot our i's and cross our t's, but we've hardly been taught to snap back. We've hardly been taught to stand up for ourselves.
But, what if, rather than being women of subservience to bad monsters, we talked back?
What if, instead, we got defiant, not reliant on these voices?
I almost see it... women, rising, a valiant insurrection,
not directed at husbands or people who annoy us,
but at the internal voices of lies.
I want that.
I want to talk back to these insidious voices with truth
so insurmountable it instigates a movement of unstoppable women for Christ.
Now, that little monster voice tells me, "Kelly, you're sounding extreme again."
But, you know what? I shush it up and go "bad-girl" on it.
I laugh in it's face.
I say, "God can do all things. So, shush it up! I am tired of your lies. You're a dog that I should laugh at you."
David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him. (1 Sam. 17:49)
1 vote of full confidence in his Lord.
1 belief that it didn't matter what he had, but who he had.
1 ounce of trust that miracles can and do happen.
David didn't need much.
I don't need much.
You don't either...
God is the everything we need.
He is the Filling to our gap.
He is the Provider to our debt.
He is the Answer to our need.
He is the Way through our dead end.
Find His life to gain life.
That thing that looks too big to accomplish - is smaller than God.
That thing that seems like it will kill you - cannot overcome the life of Christ.
That thing that plagues you with a screechy voice - is silenced by the peace of God.
Let the monsters speak, because there is one who speaks louder.
Who rides higher. Who is greater. Who will ride in victory, apparent, in glory before all mankind.
I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. Rev. 19:11-15
The fight is on your behalf. If you don't believe Jesus can win for you - I don't know who can.
Next time the Goliath-monster starts spouting off again, tell him to shush up and sit down, Faithful and True is on your side! And, with Him, you're about to win.