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Kelly Balarie Christian Blog and Commentary

Kelly Balarie

Kelly, often called a "Cheerleader of Faith", encourages other to live with passion and purpose. While Kelly has suffered through various mental, physical and financial trials, she has found God's unique plan in these dark places.

It’s a Shame

It's a shame I got so angry.
It's a shame I didn't give in to the demands and now, those people are still upset at me.
It's a shame that I handled things all wrong and hurt people's feelings.
It's a shame that I regret it and can't rewrite history.
It's a shame. Or actually, I am a shame. I am a shame of a girl who should be ashamed of myself for how I acted.

This is the line the devil feeds me: “Oh, Kelly, look at you. . . you should be ashamed of yourself.”

And now, look what you've done:

They all hate you.
Everyone remembers.
You are a bad testimony.
You'll never recover.
No one will ever support you.
You're ruined.

He's sneaky, that devil.

But I can be sneaky too. I can be. I'm sneaky when I remember: if I've confessed it, God's forgiven it.

At this point, the face of that issue no longer faces me. Jesus' love speaks louder than my history. Yet, I can be sure if there’s a voice still talking, it's the enemy's. And at this point, it will always sound like shame or regret.

But I don't have to live with it. I can tell it to shut up. Here's how. . . I say:

I am not controlled by what I've done, but the Word of Truth and the Spirit of life.
There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
There is no perfect person and if that is my standard I will always fall. I can forgive myself.
God is my hiding place, and in Him no harm will touch me.
God knows the intentions of my heart.
The Lord watches over me, because I fear Him. (Ps. 33:18)
The Lord protects me; He is my shield. (Ps. 33:20)
The Lord thwarts any evil schemes coming against me. (Ps. 33:10)
I am not perfect, but the perfect sacrifice of Jesus perfectly covers me and marks me righteous.

I am fully restored in Christ.

And that's how the voice stops talking. You tell it the truth.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email - click here.

Learning to Trust God

I didn't push the girl's sheet of paper. I didn't. She was the one who kept inching her colored sheet over mine and trying to irk me all throughout art class. And despite my best efforts to ignore her, she wouldn't stop. She did something else annoying too. She kicked me under the table. It was taking everything in me not to respond.

Until, I did. She pushed too far. So I screamed out in the middle of the elementary school classroom, "Stop it." The girl barked to the teacher that I'd been pushing her sheet. But I hadn't.

I got in big trouble. The girl sat there unscathed.  I sat in the punishment seat. The girl sat there smiling. I sat fuming. The girl sat in victory.

Where was my defender? Who stood up for me? Why didn't God bring justice? I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I still ask these questions, even as an adult.

Why? Why did all that happen? Where were you God? Why did I go down those roads? Where were you God? Why did I get hurt like that? Where were you, God?

When I look back and see God’s absence, it makes me believe He was negligent.

But was He?

While horrible stuff happened, it never kept me away from God's love. While things went wrong, I still lived. While stuff hurt my insides, it never ruined me. While there were some close calls, I often squirmed right past.

Just because we can't see God work doesn't mean He isn't working.

There is so much I can't see in the moments when I believe He’s not defending me.  Like His hands holding things back, the angels He sends on my behalf, and the wisdom He pours down from high to help me understand things. Like the arms wrapping around me when I think I am alone, the heavenly court docket that has no record of my wrongs, and the road he reroutes to make sure I am take care of.

Don't discount the Protector working in the unseen just because you can't see Him.

Here I stand today. I may have fallen and felt alone yesterday, but I stand victorious in Christ. I stand wanted and in His love. I stand whole and wholly loved. It looks like God took care of me pretty well. He continues to. He does the same for you.

 

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email - click here.

 

***Bloggers, don't miss it!
Join me, today, as I talk on The Declare Podcast about,
Fighting Fear in Blogging, Writing and Publishing. ***

"Whatever you have said in the dark will be revealed in the light..." Lu. 12:3

I’ve said much in the dark. In the darkness of my mind, I've pointed fingers at others, judged their actions and sized up their issues. In the darkness I've wondered, “Why does she act so selfish? Who does she think she is, and why is she trying to show off?”

It is not the mouth on my face that goes off. It is the mouth in my mind that won't shut up. This is damaging. Every time I point a finger at someone else (you know the saying) three more point back at me. Every time I consider myself better or worse than them, the damage boomerangs back. All of these thoughts set up impossible hurdles for my own mind to jump over as it pertains to relationships, goals and self-esteem. If you think badly about others, you'll always be thinking, “What are they thinking bad about me?”

To add insult to injury, God is clear: What I say in the darkness of my mind will be revealed in the light. It will be revealed in the light of my life and it will be revealed in light before Him.

Do you tally up people's wrongs in your mind? Do you lament that you are either horribly worse than someone else or miles better? Do you keep track of others’ value, Christianity, or intentions?

Jesus tells us: "...and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted on the rooftops to be heard." Lu. 12:3

This verse is our help. We remember our every bad thought about another is a screamed proclamation before God.

Next time you think:

She is so blah, blah, blah....Imagine you screaming it from a rooftop, as you stand right before God.

I hate him and he is always being a jerk...Imagine you screaming it from a rooftop, as you stand right before God.

I am so much better than she is and she is a horrible mother...Imagine you screaming it from a rooftop, as you stand right before God.

Imagine yourself screaming it so loud that both God and she/he would hear. Imagine this, not to guilt yourself into doing things right, but to unite with God - and to come to terms with the reality of your words.  God is in front of us.  We have the ability to cling to His ways, not ours. To do this is to allow Christ's face of love to change our face -- to love.

To see God is to see a new way.

A way of forgiveness. Even for those who screamed insults at the cross, Christ forgives. He loves and is guiding us to a new way.

 

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