I am God’s Humble Servant
“ … have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant … He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” Philippians 12:5-8
My pride can hinder my love—to others and to Christ. Though I long to be one who continually gives of herself, without expecting anything in return or caring how I’m perceived, too often my insecurities overshadow my obedience.
I lead my church’s single moms group, and we have a budget we must adhere to. I want to stretch every dime, which means seeking out bargains, making use of what we have, and when necessary, returning the surplus.
I don’t know where this arose, but I have a strange anxiety when it comes to returns. Standing in line with my receipt in one hand, my bag of unused items in the other, I feel nervous and judged. I worry that the cashier will think I stole the items or that I’m being petty in bringing them back, especially when my bags of unused product contain things like $2 bags of flour. I suspect my jumbled emotions come, in part, from a time when, decades ago, I had shoplifted, and sometimes I can still wear that false identity.
One particular day, shortly after an event, as I stood in a long, slowly moving return line, my insecurities rose up. Though tempted to walk away, I remained. I knew I could later use every dollar I spared to bless, in some way, the women I served.
Considering this, perhaps I should’ve stood taller. After all, serving others, however we do so, is a noble, eternally-glorious act. Instead, I wanted to shrink back. To explain why I had brought back five bags of baking supplies. And though that felt hard, in that moment, in some very small way, I experienced God’s presence and pleasure. The encouragement of One who endured ridicule and emptied Himself completely, for me.
Jennifer Slattery is a writer, editor, speaker, and the founder of Wholly Loved Ministries. She writes and podcasts for Crosswalk, is the author of Building a Family along with numerous other titles, and helped write Wholly Loved’s Bible study based on the life of Sarai (Gen. 12-23) titled Becoming His Princess, releasing in the spring/summer of 2019. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall outings with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband. Visit her online at jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com.
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