Teach gratefulness rather than greediness. Understand that if you grant your kids’ every whim, they’ll keep wanting more and more, miss out on life’s simple pleasures, and never develop grateful hearts. Don’t substitute material gifts for what your children actually need – your presence and time with them. Guard against giving them too much and expecting too little of them. Train them in manners and money management. Regularly serve other people together as a family, so service will become a way of life for your kids. Help them learn to be content. Don’t allow whining or idleness. Assign your children chores on a regular basis to contribute to your household, hold them accountable for their responsibilities, and thank them for jobs they do well. Encourage them to work to help pay for extras they want, and teach them that good things come to those who wait. Ask them to give a portion of their own money to church or charity regularly.

Listen well. Give your kids the invaluable gift of listening carefully to what they say. Whenever they share their thoughts and feelings with you, pay close attention and seek to genuinely understand them. Break free of distractions, make eye contact, and ask for clarification when you need it. Know that if you listen to your kids, they’ll be inspired to listen to you and grow to become respectful people.

Jill Rigby is an accomplished speaker, columnist, television personality, family advocate, and founder of Manners of the Heart Community Fund, a nonprofit organization bringing a return of civility and respect to our society. Whether equipping parents to raise responsible children, encouraging the education of the heart, or training executives in effective communication skills, Jill’s definition of manners remains the same – an attitude of the heart that is self-giving, not self-serving. She is the proud mother of twin sons who testify to her contagious passion.