How to Heal After a Miscarriage or Infant Loss
- Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Teske Drake's book, Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow: Finding Light Beyond the Shadow of Miscarriage or Infant Loss (Kregel Publications, 2012).
Suffering the heartbreaking loss of a baby either before or shortly after birth forever changes the way you’d imagined your life would be. All the dreams you’d cherished of parenting that child died along with him or her.
Yet, despite your loss and grief, God has given you promises that nothing can ever take away. Embracing those promises is the key to healing after miscarriage or infant loss. Here’s how you can discover the healing God is offering through His promises to you:
A relationship with Jesus Christ is the ultimate promise of hope for eternity. Without Jesus, suffering can cast you adrift on a sea of despair. But when you’re in a relationship with Jesus as your personal Savior, you never have to despair because Jesus acts as your spiritual life preserver, giving you hope that you can’t get from anyone or anything else and empowering you to overcome even the worst circumstances in our fallen world.
God promises to always love you, no matter what. God loves you completely and unconditionally, and nothing – not even something as devastating as your baby’s death – can ever separate you from God’s great love for you. Whether or not you’re a mother, God loves you just the same. Your loss doesn’t define you, because your true identity is one of God’s beloved children, no matter what. Pray for the ability to sense God’s everlasting, unfailing, faithful, trustworthy, and saving love for you in new ways.
God promises to work all things out for your good when you trust Him to do so. Ask yourself honestly how your baby’s death has affected your view of God’s goodness. Consider whether you’ve turned toward God or away from Him in your grief. If you’ve doubted God’s goodness and turned away, pray against bitterness taking root in your life and ask God to reveal some of the good ways He is working in your life. Keep in mind that your baby was a gift from God, even though he or she lived just for a brief time. Ask God to give you His perspective on your baby’s life and death.
God promises to fulfill His purposes for your life despite your loss. Pray for God to reveal His purposes for the pain you’ve suffered because of your baby’s death. Ask God to show you how you can live according to those purposes, which often involve acts of compassion that help other suffering people and make you a more loving person in the process. Take action as God leads you, from donating something to a children’s charity in your baby’s memory to reaching out to another grieving person who needs encouragement.
God promises to be your one true source of comfort. God declares: “As a mother comforts a child, so I will comfort you…” (Isaiah 66:13). You can count on God’s comfort being there for you in prayer, when you read the Bible, and in the caring people God brings into your life and works through. Allow others into the messiness of your grief, asking for encouragement, prayer, and practical help when you need it and letting people who care know of specific ways they can help you. Whenever you’re ready to do so, reach out to others in need of comfort, offering listening, prayer, or something else that may help them.
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