A friend told me the other day about how he and his wife had gone through a disastrous experience while having their new house built. “Everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong,” he said with a sigh. “The contractor turned out to be completely inept and dishonest. The whole thing was a nightmare. And the strangest part of all,” he said, sadly shaking his head as if still in disbelief, “the guy was a Christian.”

My guess is most believers, including myself, have made similar mistakes: the church-going mechanic who rips us off and stares us dead in the eye while denying it; the deacon who shamelessly sells us a lemon-whatever; or the Sunday School teacher who assured us she knew all about wallpapering, screwed up the job, and refused to give back the money.

This happens a lot to Christians, I think, because we want to believe our brothers and sisters in the flock will love us and never hurt us. So, we tend to make rather broad judgments regarding people’s character. We assume that if someone is in our “Christianity club,” they will by virtue of membership undoubtedly portray in their daily lives and work all the virtues of Christ. This happened to my friend when he chose a contractor based at least to some extent on his professed Christianity. This man might very well have been a fine Christian. But he was a terrible builder.

This same dilemma rings true in all human-run endeavors, and it is true in the field of counseling, too. Many of us, when we find ourselves hurting with a hurt too deep to treat ourselves, reach out for a hand from someone who is supposed to know how to help us. Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t. 

What Is A Counselor?

The Bible gives us several uses of the word “counselor.” Proverbs 11:14 and 15:22 indicate an adviser, and 2 Samuel 15:12 a king’s state counselor. The word is used once to describe the Messiah (Isa. 9:6). In Mark 15:43 and Luke 23:50, the word probably means a member of the Jewish Sanhedrin.

Like all that springs from the brokenness of man, human counsel is often less than wise. Still, Scripture tells us of our need for connecting with others in order to attain the emotional clarity God wants for us:

Folly is joy to him that is void of wisdom; but a man of understanding maketh straight his going. Where there is no counsel, purposes are disappointed; but in the multitude of counselors, they are established. A man hath joy in the answer of his mouth; and a word in due season, how good is it! To the wise the way of life goeth upward, that he may depart from Sheol beneath. (Proverbs 15:21-24)

 

Obviously, the Word and Spirit of God are the best counselors for the wounded soul. When seeking His wisdom from another human being, then, we must first bathe our search process in prayer, asking Him to lead us to someone who will be right for our individual needs. All of the earthly factors should be considered: training, professional accreditation, personality, and, depending on your feelings about such things, his or her religious leanings. Then there are pragmatic considerations like fees and insurance issues. But beyond all this, I think, we as Christians must seek something in the counselor far more essential to healing than all the Ph.D.’s put together: Giftedness.