Be willing to do the work relationships require. Recognize that all your relationships are gifts from God that you should manage with great care. Know that it’s worth it to invest in the time and energy necessary to begin and maintain your relationships. Don’t shy away from giving others grace, since God has given you grace. Be humble, refusing to hold others to a higher standard than that to which you hold yourself. Be gentle, being careful not to damage others who interact with you. Be patient, placing the needs of others at least as high as your own needs. Be forbearing when you’re provoked. Don’t love people with limits hat are driven by your own perceived needs or interests. Make sure that others don’t feel as if they must always return a favor to keep you happy with them. Understand that God’s purpose for your relationships is not for you to get what you want, but to give you what you need. Know that when you’re frustrated in a relationship, God is at work revealing where you’ve given in to a selfish agenda and helping you grow.

View your relationships as a form of worship. Understand that where you derive your sense of identity will determine how well you relate to others. Remember who you are in Christ – God’s beloved child who is forgiven and free – rather than getting your identity from lesser things like your circumstances or other relationships. Decide to live based on the confidence and strength available to you in Christ instead of trying to get those things from the people and situations around you. Realize that your relationships will be much healthier if you don’t put pressure on people to give you what only God can give you. Worship God as the Creator through your relationships by recognizing that each person is the wonderful result of His work. Value each person’s individuality and accept the differences between you. Worship God as sovereign through your relationships by respecting the influences God has placed in other people’s lives and the ways those influences have shaped them. Understand that your ways aren’t necessarily better than their ways. Don’t try to reshape them to fit your personal preferences. Worship God as Savior through your relationships by acknowledging that you are a sinner in relationships with other sinners. Remember that each of you is still a work-in-progress with God. Avoid being self-righteous, impatient, critical, or judgmental. Focus on dealing with your own sins instead of those of other people. Don’t try to do something in someone else’s life that only God, the Savior, can do. Realize that, when you let God’s love flow through you to another person, God will use that relationship to accomplish redemptive purposes in that person’s life and also in your own.

Use the power of words wisely. Be aware that words have incredible power to either bless or harm people. Understand that the words you speak reveal what’s truly inside your mind. Ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind so you’ll be able to think positive thoughts, which will lead to positive words that will encourage others. Use your words to bring glory to God and help establish His will for your relationships, instead of your own agenda for them. Speak wholesome words that are concerned about other people’s needs. Refrain from saying anything to others that isn’t helpful to them. Before you speak, ask yourself what the people you’re relating to need most at that time, and try to address those needs as you speak to them. Pray for wisdom to say the right thing in the best way, and ask God to use your words as He works for good in people’s lives.