Cutting the Ties of the Need to Please
Kelly Balarie, blogger at Purposeful Faith and author of the new book Rest Now: 7 Ways To Say No, Set Boundaries and Seize Joy is passionate about joining hands with women who often find…More
- 2015 Dec 28
You live to make others happy. String.
You can't be happy if others are upset. String.
You are burdened if you made a wrong choice. String.
You can't disagree about life issues or opinions. String.
You feel responsible for how others act. String.
Ever wondered how to live life with no strings attached?
For so long, I have walked like a shoe with warn down treads and strings wrapping me. These strings seemed to both keep me together and squeeze me. They seemed to be known and detested at the same time. For so much of my life, I would tie these strings up and say, "I just care a whole lot, a whole lotta lot about people. I would give everything for them and to them."
The only thing about strings so tight like that is - they squelch the very person wearing them.
When we give everything to everyone, we really become a no one to everyone.
When people seem to control our every move, we move into places of anxiety and fear.
When we find we can't find our own way, allow others to define our way.
When God is not making our way, we lose our way.
When we hand over our identity, we live insecurity.
When we live insecurity, who lose all surety.
When we are at the beckon call of man, we find ourself far from the peace an' call of God.
Have you ever considered that being an over-giver is unhealthy?
Have you ever pondered how eyes on man divert eyes from God?
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Gal. 1:10
I am considering all of this. Deeply. Meaningfully. Carefully.
I choose to seek the approval of God.
With this, here is what I have come to:
1. I can't help another, if I haven't given God a full chance to help me.
2. I can't control the environment of happy, peace and calm by telling others what to do.
3. I can't make others see, do or say what I need them to in order to keep me balanced.
4. I can observe a situation or happening without making it declare me bad.
5. I can give space and grace rather than side glances of judgement and disappointment.
6. I can be free to be me, when I trust it is God, not man, that will take care of me.
7. I can say that I am beautiful, when I stop believing that man declares that I am not.
8. Others opinions belong to them, not me, and I am not any less for their correct or incorrect assessment.
9. God wants me tethered to him, not tethered to ties that keep me stuck to the past, emotions or fears.
So, take that strings! Take that, because I am cutting you!
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Prov. 29:25
For each will have to bear his own load. Gal. 6:5
But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel,
so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
1 Thes. 2:4
unmoved by the shaking,
but uncovered in the trembling,
Trekking towards the once declared "impossible",
yet moving all the same,
to the place where surrendered feet stand on holy ground,
the place where you know all will finally be okay.