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About Albert Mohler

Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr., serves as president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary—the flagship school of the Southern Baptist Convention and one of the largest seminaries in the world. He is a theologian and ordained minister, as well as an author, speaker and host of The Albert Mohler Program.

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Albert Mohler

Author, Speaker, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Palin Parable -- Bristol Says Abstinence "Not Realistic At All"

Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, made headlines last summer when it was revealed that she was about to become an unwed mother.  On December 27, she gave birth to a baby boy named Tripp.  Now, Bristol Palin is back in the news again -- and this time by her own choice.  She granted an interview to Fox News Channel's "On the Record."

At the same time the pregnancy was made public last summer, Bristol's mom had just been announced as Sen. John McCain's choice to be his running mate.  This put the pregnant teenager into the glare of national publicity. Many were impressed and thankful as Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson, her fiance' and the baby's father, made a commitment not to have an abortion but to welcome the baby.  They lived up to that pledge, and baby Tripp seems to be doing quite well.

Bristol's parents also affirmed the sanctity of human life when they made a similar commitment during Gov. Palin's pregnancy with a child with Down syndrome.  The vast majority of unborn babies identified as carrying the marker for Down syndrome are now aborted, but the Palins said they never even considered aborting their baby. Little Trig Palin, soon to be a year old, was seen by millions of Americans during the course of the campaign.  That one baby became a testimony to the worth of every single human life.

Bristol Palin is back in the headlines, and some Americans may be shocked.  Bristol told Fox News that teenagers should not have sex.  However, she also said that sexual abstinence for teens is "not realistic at all."

These comments seem contradictory, but the national media immediately leapt upon Bristol's apparent rejection of sexual abstinence as an expectation for teenagers.  To her credit, she maintained a clear pro-life perspective, even as she admitted the difficulty of being a teenage mother.  But the rejection of sexual abstinence as "not realistic at all" caught many off guard.

As reported in the press, Bristol's statement lacked context.  But, many in the media simply reduced the story to her statement about abstinence.  Consider this headline from the Associated Press:  "Palin's Daughter Says Abstinence 'Not Realistic.'"

Many people who admired the way that the Palin family handled their family crisis last summer will be rightly disappointed with this new word from Bristol.  But, leaving Bristol's personal situation aside for now, her comment deserves a closer look.

Is sexual abstinence realistic for teenagers and young adults?  Well, abstinence is certainly not realistic when teenagers put themselves or are put into a situation where sexual activity is likely.  At some point, sexual abstinence becomes very unrealistic indeed.

The real issue for Christian teenagers and their parents is not to debate whether sexual abstinence before marriage is realistic or not.  The larger and more important issue is that sexual abstinence until marriage is the biblical expectation and command.  Once this is realized, the responsibility of all concerned is to ensure that expectations and structures are in place so that abstinence is realistic.

The debate over whether abstinence is realistic or not misses the more important issue -- abstinence must be made realistic.

Parents and teenagers must make certain that adequate protections and expectations are in place so that sexual abstinence is very realistic indeed.  Far too many Christian parents allow their teenagers to be part of the "hooking up" scene of teenage culture.  In that highly sexualized context, sexual abstinence would appear unrealistic in the extreme.

Premature pair dating and unsupervised liaisons, set within the supercharged culture of teenage sexuality, can put teenagers into very vulnerable situations.  Asking whether sexual abstinence in those contexts is realistic can appear almost irrational.

Those who reject the norm of sexual abstinence for teenagers will leap on Bristol Palin's statement as evidence for their cause.  But the real issue here is our responsibility to ensure that abstinence is made realistic and stays realistic.  Anything short of this is truly "not realistic at all."

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Most Recent User Comments
zettedesign
7/15/2009 3:16 AM
When I was dating I always had to drag my brothers with me, but I still found plenty of opportunity to be alone with my boyfriend. However, my relationship with my parents and God were well established. I didn't want to disappoint either one of them and so I waited to have sex until marriage. I had the opportunity but I chose to wait. Many times walking away from heated sessions of kisses and hugs. As parents all we can do is teach our children with respect and love. At the end they will make their choice and have to live with their decisions.
BlazeApath
2/26/2009 11:42 AM
One other thing I want to mention for parents out there. We know from the Word that sex outside of marriage is a sin, so giving a teen birth control is not His will. And, it is nothing more than a license to sin - which is always given for selfish reasons. My mother tried to put me on birth control when I was 12. Told me several things....1. she didn't trust me. 2. She didn't care about me 3. Sex was a normal everyday thing that I was expected to do at my age. I told her I was a virgin and that I did not want to be on birth control. She said she didn't believe me and that I would be put on it. I refused. She never once talked to me about abstinence, the value of waiting, or even considered that I would wait. The conversation we had that day changed our relationship and really showed me that she didn't care about or know me at all. A parent is supposed to show us what is right. Edifying, enforcing boundaries, and expecting the best from a child is showing them that you love them.
BlazeApath
2/26/2009 11:28 AM
God's will is written down for us in the bible. His will is that sex is in marriage only. Sex outside of marriage is a sin - that is black and white in the Word. Can we be forgiven, absolutely, repent and turn from the sin and total forgiveness is ours. We are not victims of society, life, environment, we make CHOICES. Choose this day who you serve. Is Jesus Christ your savior and LORD? If He is your Lord as well, His Word matters, His will matters, and His plan and purpose for your life matters. There is no sin in God, and His will never includes sin. If we are His, He promises to turn our bad choices into good things, but there are horizontal consequences for our sin that must be dealt with - i.e. a child out of wedlock. That doesn't mean that He can't provide someone a husband or wife to bless and help once forgiven though. Abstinence is a choice, a resolve that must be made well before being in a situation that can compromise. Vow it - to self and to Abba.