Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your child's school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2.
To complain about what we do - Press 3.
To cuss out staff members - Press 4.
To ask why you did not get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you - Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6.
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9.
To complain about school lunches - Press 0.
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework, and that it is not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort, please hang up and have a nice day!!
