How to reject 'defective dating'
- Friday, September 01, 2000
Chapter 2 (of my book I Kissed Dating Goodbye) points out the problems (seven to be exact) that plague many dating relationships. But this isn't just a finger-wagging session about what's wrong. We're not just saying "no" to the defective, but yes to the effective.
Look at "The Seven Habits of Defective Dating" from that perspective, and you'll see what I mean. Turn each problem inside out and you will realize that by rejecting the defective, you're welcoming God's best for your life. Look at what you're saying yes to:
1. I reject defective dating that leads to intimacy without commitment, and I embrace the beauty of total intimacy and total commitment in marriage.
2. I reject defective dating that tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship, and I choose to build my future marriage on the solid foundation of friendship with my spouse.
3. I reject defective dating that mistakes a physical relationship for love, and I choose purity and the clarity that comes in a relationship undistracted by premarital physical involvement.
4. I reject defective dating that isolates me from other vital relationships, and I'm saying yes to the joy, wisdom, and godly perspective that comes from investing in family and other friends.
5. I reject defective dating that distracts me from my primary responsibility of preparation, and I choose to glorify God and serve my future spouse by using this time in my life to prepare for the future.
6. I reject defective dating that causes discontentment with God's gift of singleness, and I embrace the contentment that comes with a heart of gratefulness and an attitude that seeks to make the most of today.
7. I reject defective dating that creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character, and I choose to get to know my future spouse in a setting that lets us both see who we really are and what our true character is.
We don't "kiss dating goodbye" because we're afraid of relationships but because we want something better - a lifestyle of purposeful singleness that allows us to make the most of today and prepare for tomorrow.
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