This is written from a wife's perspective. Hoping to offer a husband a little insight into what his sweet wife really needs.
If I were being open and honest with you, as a young bride (quite a few years ago), I didn't know what I needed. And most likely, my husband didn't know what he needed either. I had this preconceived notion that things would be great, perfect even, once we were married. Yet, my wise mom told me something on my wedding day that didn't resonate with me at the time but still stuck in my heart. She said her love for my dad changed over the years, but she learned to appreciate him for the man he was, not for the man she wanted him to be. Honestly, I couldn't imagine loving my husband any more than I did at that moment. How would my love for him change?
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it took years to build a foundation to stand on in our marriage, and let me tell you, it has been far from perfect. I would also add that our love has changed through the years—a lot. But mainly for the better. Marriage really does take a lifetime to build, and if we seek to love the way God commands us to, we see that the wedding day is just the starting point.
Maybe you opened this article with high hopes. Maybe your foundation feels shaky, and you aren't even sure where you stand with your wife. Between the cold shoulder and subliminal messages, you feel lost. Frustrated. Unsure of your next move. Please don't lose hope. There are ways to reach your wife's heart and start building back the love you both crave.
Let's first start with you. You can't love your wife well if you don't work on the man God is calling you to be. While our society will tell you otherwise, you must arm yourself with Truth. What does the Bible say about being a man of God, henceforth a Godly husband?
Timothy 6:11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Did you catch that? God is calling you to be strong in your faith. From that bedrock of faith, everything flows. When you get your heart right before God and submit to Him, you give permission to let go of your way and embrace God's way of marriage. You also begin to see your wife differently but beautifully. So, what does your wife need from you? According to the One that created her, she needs you to lead and protect her. (Ephesians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:7) She needs you to provide for her and your family. (1 Timothy 5:8) And she needs you to cherish her like no other. (1 Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:2)
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Goran13