What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A duck filled fatty puss!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was some money in the kitty.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What do cat actors say on stage?
Tabby or not tabby!

What do you call a cat who does tricks?
A magic kit

What kind of work does a weak cat do?
Light mouse work

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
Because she wanted to mail a litter

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
To a mewseum

What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs

Why did the cat walk in the desert and think he was at the North Pole?
Because he looked down and saw Sandy Claws

What does a cat get from watching too many Mickey Mouse films?
Disney Spells

Where did the first cats live?
Purr-sia and Paw-tugal

What do you get if you cross a budgie with a cat?
A peeping Tom

Hear about the cat who was a tennis fan?
He had two brothers in the same racket.

Hear about the cat called Ben Hur?
They called it Ben for two months until it had four kittens.