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How To Photograph A Cat

  • Put the cat on a pillow.

  • Set up your camera.
  • Put the cat back on the pillow.
  • Get a bowl of food and put it next to the pillow.
  • Put the cat back on the pillow.
  • Grab the food bowl and follow the cat.  As you run, hold the bowl in our cat's face, tempting her to eat.
  • See if the neighbours will come over and pick up the sofa while you snap a picture of the cat underneath.
  • Cross the names of your neighbours off the list for your next party.
  • Put the cat back on the pillow.
  • Place a catnip-stuffed mouse in front of your cat and wait for your cat to go crazy.
  • Go back to the pet store and demand a refund.
  • Decide on a family portrait with the cat instead.
  • To stop the argument over which child gets to pose with the cat, agree to take pictures of each child holding the cat on her lap.
  • Tell each child that it doesn't matter who holds the cat first because you'll shuffle the pictures after   they're developed and look at them in a different order than the order they were taken.
  • Get more cats, one for each child, and go back to step one.

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