The E-Mail You Receive

Peace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.

May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or return it within a limited time frame.

May the mail you receive not require you to take action to prove your love, friendship, or concern for the welfare of the sender.

May the mail you receive not start with Fw Fw Fw, not contain strangely named attachments and contain a "<" for every ">".

May the mail you receive not require you to look closely at those on the playground to see if they are the non-missing children you are to be searching for.

May the mail you receive not cause you to change your eating habits to avoid plagues, pestilence and the eating of parts of things that you can't buy at Wal-Mart.

May the mail you receive not encourage you to carry a steel plate on which to sit in theaters or other public places.

May the mail you receive not encourage you to learn the 800 Number for the National Missing Child Bureau, Center for Disease Control or the FCC.

And above all, may your inaction to the mail you receive not cause the death of monks, missionaries, mothers or the misguided.