Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech Support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech Support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech Support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Blonde Female Customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech Support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech Support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!