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Redneck Computer Terms

Log on:  Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off:  Don't add no wood.

Monitor:  Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

Download:  Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz;  When yer not careful down loadin'.

Floppy Disk:  Whatcha' git from a-pilin' too much firewood.

Ram:  The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive:  Gettin' home in the winter season.

Prompt:  What you wish the mail was in the winter.

Windows:  What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen:  Whatcha' need for the black fly season.

Byte:  Yup! That's what the flies do.

Chip:  What to munch on.

Micro Chip:  What's left in the bottom of the bag.

Infrared:  Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem:  Whatcha' did to the hay field.

Dot Matrix:  Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top:  Where the young un's feel comfy.

Keyboard:  Where ya hang yer keys.

Software:  Them plastic eatin' utensils.

Mouse:  What eats the horses grain. (also, a satifin' meal for the cat)

Main Frame:  Holds up the barn roof.

Port:  Some fancy wine.

Enter:  C'mon in!

Random Access Memory:  Ya can't remember whatch' paid for that new rifle when yer wife asks.

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