If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss and they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr
I think-therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -Marie Corelli
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt
