1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
6. Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
7. You say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
8. All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
9. You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
10. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
11. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
12. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
13. Getting "lucky" means you remember where you left your car in the parking lot.
14. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
15. It takes twice as long -- to look half as good.
16. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt -- doesn't work.
17. You sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay there.
18. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
19. You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
20. More than half of this list pertains to YOU!
