A blonde goes on vacation out west. She sees a saloon and decides to see what it's all about.  Once inside she spots a moose head on the wall.

The bartender notices her looking at it and asks if she ever saw a moose before."

"Not where I'm from....do you mind if I go into the next room and take a look at the rest of it?"

How absent minded was he?

The man was so absent minded he stood in front of the mirror for two hours trying to remember where he'd seen himself before.

"Guess what we learned in school today, mom," said little Stanley as he burst through the door. "We learned how to make babies."

"And -just - how - do -you - make - babies?" said Stanley's mom, wide-eyed, and all ears.

"Oh, it's easy," replied Stanely.

"First you change the y to i, and then you add 'es'.