Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

"No, I don't mind. Helping you get up out of the chair is a bit habit forming."

"Sorry I can't give you a hug, my arms aren't that long."

"What do you mean, the seat belt won't fit?!"

"So the doctor said you're going to get, um, even bigger?"

"Why not wear one of my shirts? Oh, they don't fit either..."

"Bet you $20 I can outrun you across the back yard!"

"Come on, as soon as my team breaks this tied game, we'll leave for the hospital."

"Since your contractions are so far apart, how about cooking us some boiled cabbage and sauerkraut before we leave?"

"Maybe someday you'll return the favor and tie MY shoes."

"But why can't you trim your own toe nails?"

..and anything said while she is looking in the mirror just after taking a bath . . . . not a good idea!