You Might be A Nurse If

** It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.

** You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

** You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

** You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.

** You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

** You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

** You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.

** You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.