"The Human Brain" . . . . . . . by Sara Bellum

"Please Don't Hurt Me" . . . . . . . by I. Bruce Easily

"Thirty yards to the outhouse" . . . . . . . by Will E. Makeit
(illustrated by Betty Wont)

"The Proper Use of Sunscreens" . . . . . . . by Justin Casey Burns

"How To Cure Scratching" . . . . . . . by Ivan Awfulich

"Discount Alternatives" . . . . . . . by Robin Stuff

"How To Save Time" . . . . . . . by Terry A. While