Relating to Barbie

Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some "NEW Barbie dolls" to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

Bifocals Barbie.     Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue.

Flabby Arms Barbie.     Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns.   Good news on the tummy front,  two-Muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

Bunion Barbie.    Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

No-More-Wrinkles Barbie.   Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Soccer Mom Barbie.     All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr.  Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.