Things I Wish I'd Said:

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."

"Going to church does not make you a good person anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger."

"Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a    permanent job."

"A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous."

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side."

"I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to."

"Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."

"People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross."

"Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it."

"Life is like an onion: you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"There are two things I've learned: There is no Cinderella. And, I'm not her Prince."

"Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."