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One-Liners for September 26th

If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.

Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.

Constant change is here to stay.

Buy one for the price of two and get another one free!

Vanna White's in a rehab center. She's hooked on phonics.

A watched clock never boils.

A word to the wise is unnecessary.

All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.

I'd like to go to an assertiveness training class.
First I need to check with my wife.

The teacher asked my son, "If you have five apples and I ask you for one, how many will you have?"
My son answered "Five."

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