UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!
Marriage is Grand...Divorce is 20 Grand...
A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
MONEY TALKS ... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
Optimist: A YUGO owner.
43% of all statistics are useless.
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn LOUDER!
Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Dolphins: Don't trust a species that's always smiling, its up to something!
Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
