14. The minimum acceptable speed on the Pellissippi Parkway is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
15. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
16. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
17. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Dogwood Arts Festival is going on.
18. Any and all shopping should be done in West Knoxville. The Metropolitan Planning commission in conjunction with experts in urban sprawl have paved every piece of usable property between UT and the Loudon Countyline. All shopping should be done in the large homogenized, box type structures erected there.
19. Knoxville Center Mall is actually in East Knoxville. West Town Mall is just to the east of Downtown West.
20. Halls has IT. (IT apparently refers to the highest number of Baptist churches per person.)
21. No one who lives in the town of Farragut is actually from East Tennessee or even the South. Admiral Farragut was a Union Soldier. Yep, they're all Yankees.
22. It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays in the fall, as 3 out of 4 drivers have had way too much Jack Daniel's at the ball game and the fourth driver is a cop.
23. Never, and we mean NEVER plan a wedding for a weekend when UT plays football. That is what open dates are for.
24. There is nothing up in the Sunsphere. Don't try to go up there.
25. It is a good and honorable thing to work on a mobile home sales lot.
26. Yeah the mountains are pretty, but how 'bout them Outlet Malls!
27. Don't ask anyone about Oak Ridge. Two headed deer and three eyed Carp do appear naturally in the wild.
28. Never point and laugh at anything painted Orange, no matter how bizarre or tasteless, unless you want to get your back-side kicked.
Authorship credit to: Ross
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
