"Marriage is for white people." That’s what Joy Jones was told when she was teaching a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in the nation’s capital. As a matter of fact, more than one student offered Jones this retort when she spoke of marriage and parenthood.
Joy Jones is author of Between Black Women: Listening with the Third Ear. In a recent article written for The Washington Post, Jones laments the decline of marriage among African Americans. It wasn’t always this way, she insists.
"I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America," Jones explains. "Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many—particularly in the black community—have dispensed with marriage altogether."
This nation has been witnessing (and allowing) the undermining of its marriage culture. Throughout the culture, marriage is simply not respected or expected as it once was, and the cult of personal autonomy and the rise of postmodern worldviews have only accelerated this process. Still, the decline of marriage as an institution is not uniform across the culture. As the statistics clearly indicate, marriage is losing ground among African Americans more quickly than within the society at large.
Jones’ experience at the Washington elementary school tells the story. A young black boy had expressed his belief that being a good father was a very important personal goal—"more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title." Jones was pleased with the boy’s statement. "That’s wonderful!," she told him. "I think I’ll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."
"Oh, no," the student objected. "We’re not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers." Another boy quickly offered his own analysis, "speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth," Jones laments. "Marriage is for white people," he said.
Considering the context, that boy’s statement is a tragedy in seven syllables. How could a young black boy come to the conclusion that marriage is only for white people?
In part, he is simply observing the reality. As Joy Jones confirms, the marriage rate for African Americans has been falling since the 1960s. As present, blacks have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. According to the 2001 U. S. census data, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women have never been married. In contrast, only 27.4 percent of white men and 20.7 percent of white women have never been married.
Of all demographic groups, African American women are least likely ever to marry. While the marriage rate fell for all Americans by 17 percent in the thirty years between 1970 and 2001, the marriage rate for black Americans fell by 34 percent.
This has caught the attention of many observers. Howard University’s Audrey Chapman has referred to African Americans as "the most uncoupled people in the country." Sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin points out that a black child was more likely to grow up with two parents during the days of slavery than he or she is today.
The reference to slavery is very instructive. Jones understands the argument that slavery and its lingering effects explain today’s low marriage rate among African Americans. She rejects this with solid data. Indeed, she cites historian Eugene D. Genovesi, who sets the record straight. Genovesi, author of Roll, Jordan, Roll: The World the Slaves Made, points to the incredibly strong and even sacrificial commitment to marriage that most often characterized slave families. He tells of slaves who mutilated themselves and put themselves at risk, just in order to save their marriages and to continue raising their children.
