January 30, 2009

Recently, I wrote an article for Crosswalk regarding three misconceptions about homosexuality. The response on Crosswalk and other websites where the article was posted was voluminous and intense. On the plus side, some readers were relieved to see these misconceptions addressed, but on the down side, others attacked my orthodoxy and competence. Given this response and the admittedly brief treatment of each of the misconceptions, I plan additional articles which will elucidate each point. Although this deeper examination may raise additional questions, I hope to address some issues provoked by the initial article on misconceptions in ministry.

The first misconception I identified was “all gay people are attracted to the same sex because they did not bond with their parents or were sexually abused.”  Some readers questioned whether anyone actually holds such an exclusive position. I have been active in writing about and researching sexual orientation and identity formation for over 10 years and my impression is that many, if not most, Christian ministries hold to the view that same-sex attraction stems from a failure of bonding with the same-sex parent. At a Focus on the Family Love Won Out conference in 2007, founder and past-president of the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, the leading group of professionals associated with the bonding-failure theory, was asked by CNN reporter Gary Tuchman, “So you’re categorically saying that if a father and son have a normal relationship, that child will not be gay.” Dr. Nicolosi replied succinctly, “Yes.”  Other ministries such as Exodus International often suggest that there may be other causes but present the bonding-failure view as the usual pathway to homosexuality.

I labeled this theory as a misconception because there are gay people who grew up living in clearly loving homes and were quite bonded with their parents, both same- and opposite-sex. Although some same-sex attracted people experienced difficult relationships with their parents, so do many people who have never been attracted to the same sex. In some cases, the difficult relationship began after the same-sex attraction became apparent. In any event, the negative family relationships experienced by some same-sex attracted people do not validate the bonding-failure theory for those gays and lesbians who had warm, happy connections.

Furthermore, the scientific research regarding homosexuality allows no confidence in one particular set of family dynamics of constellations as creating homosexuals. A recent study from Andrew Francis of Emory University found that boys in fatherless homes were no more likely to report same-sex activity than boys where fathers were in the home. Surely, if the lack of a bond with father was crucial, then this study would have found more homosexual behavior among fatherless boys.  Another recent study compared adults who were abused and neglected as children with those who were not and found no differences in the likelihood of homosexual relationships. In that same study, sexual abuse was associated with a somewhat increased probability of adult homosexuality for men but not for women. Even for the men, many sexually abused boys did not grow up to be homosexual; all homosexuals were not abused. For some people, sexual abuse may have real ramifications for their adult sexual behavior, however one may experience same-sex attraction even if one was not sexually abused. Based on current research, it seems more likely that different factors operate differently for different people to form the direction of sexual attractions.