"I can accurately say now that navel-gazing your potential contribution to a child’s same-sex attraction is nothing short of anguish. Our son would tell you that his father and mother did not contribute to his same-sex attraction. We actually wish some days that it were that easy to put into an equation like “Dad ignored you for some formative years, mom made up for it, you identify with mom not dad – therein lies the reason!” Alas, this is not true in our family. We never ignored our children, our family has been busy bearing one another up, and our son takes responsibility for his same-sex attraction. If we were responsible, we would have accepted the blame gladly. Instead, now, we find ourselves relying on the truths of Scripture such as Romans 8 and II Corinthians 1:3-4. My husband and I come from a promiscuous past, we were products of the sexual revolution and legalized abortion. We are the right parents for this son of ours because we know restoration of sexual brokenness through a relationship with the living Lord Jesus. That is the relationship we pray that our son examines and gazes upon. In the meantime, we adore him and he us and we celebrate God’s goodness and sovereignty."

I do not believe this family is rare. No family is perfect of course but there is little evidence that enduring sexual preferences are set due to subtle dynamics of family life. Much of anguish and hostility expressed by same-sex attracted sons and daughters and their parents derive from a failure of well-meaning helpers to recognize the complexity of human sexuality and each individual.  Ministry in this arena could start with a familiar dictum from health care – first, do no harm.

Warren Throckmorton, PhD is Associate Professor of Psychology and Fellow for Psychology and Public Policy in the Center for Vision and Values at Grove City College. He blogs at Crosswalk.com.