A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters but lacked a few social graces.

One day, he called a soldier into the office and said, "Kramer, your grandmother died."

The soldier fell apart.

After the soldier left, the colonel told the lieutenant, "You could have been a little more tactful. I have some books at home that could help you."

The lieutenant read the half-dozen books lent to him by the colonel and was ready for the next crisis, when Private Taylor's grandfather passed away.

The next morning at reveille, the lieutenant said, "Men, how many of you have a grandfather still living? . . . . . . Not so fast, Private Taylor!"