Caution - May be hazardous to your intelligence.  

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A duck filled fatty puss!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? -
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin? -
There was some money in the kitty.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What do cat actors say in a Shakespearean play?
Tabby or not tabby! That is the question.

What is the only kind of work a weak cat can do?
Light mouse work

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
To a mewseum

What does a cat get from watching too many Mickey Mouse films?
Disney Spells

Where did the first cats live?
Purr-sia and Paw-tugal

What do you get if you cross a parakeet with a cat?
A peeping Tom