He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.

SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.

Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work .

Three words: carpal paw syndrome.

Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he's browsing www.purina.com instead of working.

The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.

He can't help attacking the screen when he hears "You've Got Mail".

It's too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.

The FETCH command isn't available on all platforms.

He can't stick his head out of Windows 2000.