- for use in text messages on mobile phones or chat rooms

GOPlAinTraFk
- Go play in traffic

UvGotAFAcLikASqEzdTBag
- You've got a face like a squeezed tea-bag

IfUHdABrAnUdBDAjrus
- If you had a brain you'd be dangerous

IfUWnt2AMndREdrTherWldBNoChrge
- If you went to a mind reader there would be no charge

INoWenURLIinYaLpsMov
- I know when you are lying, Your lips move

TLItsROnBtNo1isHOm
- The lights are on, but no one is home

URAsMchUsAsMdGrdsOnATortus
- You are as much use as mud guards on a tortoise

TWhElsMvnBtTHmstrsDEd
- The Wheel's moving but the hamster's dead

URAsUsfLAsAChocl8Tpot
- You are as much use as a chocolate teapot

UR1SndwchShrtOfAPiKnk
- You are one sandwich short of a picnic

:-(YaBrAnIsntAsBgAsYa(_,_)
- A pity your brain isn't as big as your bottom