- Monday, August 09, 2004
To your sending me all those chain letters in 2003 ...
*I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
*I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
*I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
*I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
*I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from heck with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
*I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me strange.
*I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
*I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
*I think I'm turning strange because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
*I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
*I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
*My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will dump on you tomorrow at 5 PM.
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