Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."  

Customer: "Ok."  

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"  

Customer: "No."  

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"  

Customer: "No."  

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me exactly what you have done up until this point?"  

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click.'"