Everyone is conscious of what they eat these days. Men. Women. Our cat has special food that can only be purchased with a prescription.

I'm tired of watching what I eat. Can't we all just agree to let ourselves go? There's always someone working out, eating right, messing it up for all of us. Just eat the chocolate bar, and we'll all be free.

Watching what you eat has never been more complicated (or simpler). I can't tell which right now. The Atkin's diet seems simple. Even the Protein Wrap has become fairly commonplace. The Protein Wrap is a sandwich without the bread, but wrapped in lettuce.

Same price.

What do they do with my bread?

I paid for it.

Give me the bread. It doesn't matter that I'm not going to eat it. It's my bread. I paid for it.

They have a tray for spare pennies. Put out a tray for spare bread. Maybe someone wants a starch wrap --- that's bread without the sandwich filling wrapped in crust.

I really don't understand the Atkin's diet at all. Let me get this straight. On the Atkin's diet I can eat an entire turkey at every meal and lose weight? But a cookie (which is smaller than a turkey) is more fattening? Shouldn't the smallest food be the least fattening?

Why can't it work like that?

Then I could go on the M&M diet.

People would ask, "How do you stay so thin?"

"I don't eat anything larger than a penny. Once in a while I have a box of cookies, but I'm right back on the M&Ms the next day."

M&Ms make me happy.

I eat when I'm depressed. Most people do. It's a vicious cycle. You're depressed, so you eat which makes you depressed so you eat and pretty soon you realize you're mother's to blame. It all stems from childhood. It's called comfort food.

"What's the matter, pumpkin?"

"Oh, some kids are picking on me."

"Well, have a pie."

Think how different our society would be if parents suggested something different.

"What's the matter, pumpkin?"

"I'm depressed."

"Run a marathon."

That's right kid. Run until you either cheer up or pass out.

Depression would lead to fitness instead of fatness.

"Man, I'm depressed."

"Let's do some squats."

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV

Thor Ramsey is the host of the T.V. comedy show,  Bananas.
Watch it free online!