These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district... (spellings have been left intact.)
 
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
 
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
 
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on  jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
 
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
 
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
 
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
 
7. Car! lo! s was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
 
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
 
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
 
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
 
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the runs. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out]
 
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
 
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
 
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
 
15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
 
16. ! Pl! ease excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
 
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
 
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
 
19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. [Might be a good thing?]
 
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
 
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
 
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
 
Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids. They too may be parents some day!