* I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 PM.

* I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

* I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

* I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

* I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

* I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

* I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over.

* I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

* I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

* I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

* I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

* I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

* I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

* I'm having trouble remembering simple words like........

* I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

* I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

* I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

* I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

* I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

* I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

* I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

* Now If I could only remember who sent this to me. Was it you?